Learning to Listen: Baptized in Humility

I’ll start this blog entry with a brief update before I dive into the depths of my soul :)

My life has mostly consisted of waking up around 6am (I’ve learned how to ignore the obnoxious roosters), working on the construction site from 8am till 5pm, going to church or hanging out with the Archaga family from 5p to 9:30pm, and lights out around 10pm. The new Channel 15 (the Christian TV channel that the Archaga’s run here in Talanga) building is coming along as we’ve completed all the walls and are installing the tubes for water in the bathrooms. Our goal is to have the bathrooms finished by this past Monday. Monday was when the first three “gringo” missions team leaders arrive. The rest of the team—about 25 people, mostly from Indiana—arrive this Monday, 10/17. The team will be staying in a hotel towards the main entry of Talanga (believe it or not, this hotel has the luxury of running water!). The team will build the new church for Celeo (the pastor I am living with) and his church, “Cuerpo de Cristo” (The Body of Christ). I will help with construction every day until October 28^th when the missions team leaves Honduras. In November, I'll move to Tegucigalpa and live with Oscar Mora and help more directly with His Eyes Ministries. I’ve had a blast with the Archaga family as I’ve gone fishing, helped lead worship, learned how to eat Honduran-style (no silverware), traveled to different cities nearby, witnessed a Honduran baptism in the local river, met their extended family, went to the circus, and even made an appearance on TV!

As for my more contemplative update (you knew it was coming…), I am still learning new life lessons, however, the learning process has had its fair share of difficulty. Now, I hope I don’t offend anyone with what I am about to share. But If I do, please don’t hesitate to let me know and hopefully we can talk more about it.

Unfortunately, the guys I work with on the construction site have shaped much of my insight to how Hondurans view Americans. While I feel accepted by the Archaga family in the morning and at nighttime, for eight hours in the middle of the day I have experienced marginalization and stereotyping at it’s finest from the guys’ onsite. Because I am a gringo from the USA, it seems like my skin tone automatically makes me a wealthy American. While this has been difficult to deal with—because I do have much more material wealth in comparison and because I want to help them as much as possible—I have learned how to keep my cool and try my best to not reinforce “wealthy American” stereotypes.

More so than the “wealthy gringo” stereotype, the “gringo work ethic” stereotype has been extremely tough to endure on a daily basis. The guys clearly expressed their negative opinions of gringos and lumped me into their stereotype. They use one word to describe the way white people don’t like to “work” and this one word essentially encompasses all white people. The word is “arragon,” very similar to the English word arrogant. They tell me that on construction sites in the US, white men stand over the Hondurans and tell them what to do while watching them work because the white men don’t like to work. They have used this word when talking about me and laugh at me when I don’t know how to do a job relating to construction work. They laugh even more when, due to the language barrier, I have trouble understanding their definition of the job. This has caused me to blow a gasket once or twice because I (a gringo) do indeed have a desire to work and serve. Just because I am not a natural construction worker by trade doesn’t mean I don’t like to work. Once I am shown or understand how to “work” their way, I will work hard and do my very best.

I am not looking for accolades or recognition for being here, but by their comments and actions, it’s as if I’m not good enough for them and they don’t even want my help . Although it is a small-scale comparison, this must be what Jesus felt like when He came to earth to help people who ended up mocking and ultimately rejecting Him. Even though I’m here in Talanga to work and help these guys, I get made fun of a lot for being white and therefore incapable/unwilling to “work.” Although these same guys will sometimes tell me I’m becoming more “Honduran,” I know I’m still very gringo in their eyes. They seem unwilling to view the motives behind gringos and respect, embrace, or be grateful for those motives rather than getting caught up with gringos’ culturally contrasting actions.

Whoa… light bulb moment. THEY ARE ME. Haha, weird sentence, let me explain. The way they’re judging and stereotyping white people rather than trying to view them in God’s eyes is the exact same issue I’ve been struggling with these past two weeks! It’s definitely been a fight to keep a “willing to learn” and “look for the good” attitude in this unnatural and uncomfortable setting. I see in them the very attitude I’m fighting to let go of in my own life. It’s all the same. It’s all interconnected. And it’s all dependent on learning to embrace God’s gracious love for me so the overflow from that love can then pour onto others. This love goes far beyond racial and cultural differences. I am not here to represent myself or America by getting defensive and ornery when I feel misunderstood or offended; I’m here to represent the fact that my identity is in Christ alone by showing God’s love as I walk in confidence and peace no matter what anyone says.

I was reading scripture the other day and found confirmation of this lesson God is currently teaching me. In Luke 14:13-14 it says, “But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you. You will be repaid at the resurrection of the just,” and in Psalm 41:1-2, “Blessed is the one who considers the poor! In the day of trouble the Lord delivers him; the Lord protects him and keeps him alive; he is called blessed in the land; you do not give him up to the will of his enemies.” In these two passages, it’s pretty clear how God views those who take time to consider the poor. So far, my Honduras experience is definitely the most up-close, long-lasting interaction I’ve had with poverty and the very real effects of it on a community and culture. How can I allow God to change my heart to the point where at my “feast,” I’ll invite the poor and crippled and truly consider their wellbeing? Not just the similar, easy-to-love American gringos. It feels like God is working on me slowly but surely. I’m still in the exposure and shock phases of His plan to increase my awareness and consideration of the poor. I pray “He who began a good work in you [me] will bring it to completion at the day of Christ Jesus,” (Phil. 1:6) and that He will give me His heart for the poor as well as those that are very different than I. I want to have the eyes of Christ; I just didn’t realize it’d be this difficult. Haha, I wonder if God is laughing with me right now at this incredible learning process I’m going through?

After my iPhone died one week into my trip, I found a great $18 alternative from Claro! (similar to TracPhone in the US). Alejandro picked one up too.